Here is a part of my story that I don’t tell very often. Until now, I wasn’t feeling very comfortable to share it, despite the fact that a few friends of mine know about it. I avoided sharing it because I was afraid of what some people would think. But since I embrace transparency, authenticity, and realness, how can I hide it? How can I reach other people and open myself to the world if I run from it? That’s what I was asking myself lately. And then I thought: “F*ck it, do it, lose your fear, be yourself!”.
I know that you free divers (and “crazy” people) love the authentic and raw stuff, as I do too, so this is why I want to share it with the world. Maybe some of you get inspired or empowered, that will be nice as I feel that this is my main purpose here. So here it is:
A little introduction
As a little kid, I always was rebellious and a lil’ bit too proud. I couldn’t deal with authority and I hated being seen as small and insignificant. As I grew up, I also realized why but that’s another story.
When I was 14 as I was sitting on the toilet (yes, shitting lol), and something suddenly hit me: “There has to be more to life, we are way more than what we think we are. We are not these ships we pretend to be, we are not supposed to follow this patterns and orders, we have godlike potential, in fact, what if we really are Gods!?”. My mother raised me very freely, so conditioning wasn’t really such a big issue for me (I did have my traumas and patterns though).
I somehow felt it as a kid that we are amazing beings who are trapped in their own minds. I observed my friends and colleagues in school thinking small about themselves and struggling with self-esteem issues and freedom, and never understood why. Why they don’t believe in themselves the way I was, why they must follow parental rules and orders, and I didn’t and couldn’t!?. I thought I was overreacting and always tried to shut the voice inside of me and consider myself “normal”, which I constantly did, but then every time that sense of rebellion and liberation awoke in me even stronger because I was going against myself.
In the years to come, I have gone through school like it didn’t even exist. I didn’t want to write anymore and take notes because it seemed to be all bullshit to me, so I didn’t. There were two programs I was more interested in English and Geography. Despite the fact that school didn’t mean too much, I somehow passed all the exams and I went to college, at the same time working, and having a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside.
After college, I did well financially, especially for a teenager, so I stayed in that comfort zone for a while. But since money alone doesn’t bring happiness, I felt lost and wanted a change. In 2012 I moved to Germany with my girlfriend at that time, with literally nothing except about 350$, an Ipad I sold to have money for the road and her car. We went through a lot of struggle and we changed jobs and apartments. After a while, we settled down, and shortly after, we broke up because our lives became a boring routine and it was better for both of us.
After the breakup, I suffered a lot and after a couple of months, but all was about to change for me. In October 2013, I went through the deepest transformation of my life. I was going through a sudden spiritual awakening (if you are interested, read more about it here). This expanded my mind and opened my heart, confirming that I was not crazy at the time I was 14, when I thought we are way more than just sheep.
What I felt was literally the deepest feeling of oneness and unity, that every spiritual guru or teacher describes. 1 year after that, I was living in awe of self-realization, knowledge and blissful moments. It is during that time that I met the best teacher I ever had and discovered who I really was, literally. It was a girl, and the connection we felt, is described by the spiritual community as a so-called twin-flame connection (or twin soul). I don’t like to identify anything with labels anymore because with any label comes different perceptions and definitions, yet this term of “twin flame” is the most precise definition of what we experienced that I found out there.
The connection and love we felt for one another were extremely magnetic, strong and empowering. It felt like being in a relationship with another me. It was so intense and it changed us internally so much that we thought everything we can imagine is possible. And it really is, as I am about to tell you what I experienced.
A higher energy woke in me and made me realize what we as humans are really capable of. I believe the energy I experienced is described in the spiritual communities as the kundalini energy. Again, I don’t want to label it but it really felt the way it is described. It was real, it was no joke. We were not Bonnie and Clyde, we were God and Goddess. I felt like the love between us activated my “superpowers” or my superhuman potential. And it really did, at least for a while. Our relationship started to escalate and eventually, life put us on different paths, which we both accepted, so I will refer to her as my ex-girlfriend.
What I experienced
Clairvoyance. One day as I was lying on the bed with her, an image of a lady in a hospital crying came into my mind. In that moment I knew what happened. My grandma died. I called my mother (the lady that cried in my mind) and I asked her directly this “When did she die?”. I was so certain that she died, without any doubt that’s why I asked so directly. My mother responded crying: “Almost a half an hour ago”. I said, “I knew it. I felt it from 1500 km away.”
Mindsight or mind reading. Yes, I know what you are going to say before saying, most of the time. Based on your body language, emotions and needs I was able (and still am) to anticipate what’s on your mind. This ability is not that magical because every balanced and successful person in the world does it already. The difference is that some people use it for personal and sometimes selfish purposes, some use it to help and heal others. Therefore, most empaths and every competent psychiatrist, life coach or spiritual teacher should be able to do it more or less, otherwise, they couldn’t help their clients.
Communicating with the unseen world. After talking to my mother, she told me that my grandmother, before she died, wanted to see me. So the next day after her death, I felt a presence in my room. It was so clear to me that someone without a body was there, that I didn’t even freak out. After a sort of nightmare in that night, dreaming about extracting something from her body through her mouth (like her fears or something) I woke up with such a high level of anxiety like never before. I was living in fear the whole day, a fear I didn’t felt in my entire life. It felt like something was inside of me. I must specify that my grandmother was a very anxious and negative woman, living in fear all her life. She died because of Alzheimer and Dementia. The second night I was going to bed with my ex-girlfriend and I started to have chills and feeling weird. She was hugging me in sleep and said, “Don’t worry you can do this”. I asked “What”? She didn’t answer, she was sleeping. Then I suddenly heard a voice in my head and the image of my grandmother, saying: “Alex, I need you for this, please forgive me, I am sorry”. The next thing I know is that I thought I was losing my mind, then I answered: “I forgive you and I love you”, and all was gone, all the weird feelings and chills, all the anxiety and weirdness. It was suddenly peaceful. I researched the next day what the whole experience was all about and found out that I was supposedly liberating her soul. That freaked me out a little but what could I do!? The experience was real.
Telekinesis or moving objects with my mind. Don’t think about heavy objects. Light objects like aluminum foil and so. There are a lot of YouTube tutorials on how to do this, so I don’t think that it is so extraordinary. We can do it with heavier objects too, the only thing that is standing in our way is our belief system.
Healing abilities. This is the part I like the most. I was able and still am to heal my headaches and other light pain almost instantly. I also healed my ex-girlfriends headaches (and she mine) and menstrual pain. I tried it on other friends too and it also worked. Actually, the belief system is the only one against this ability. I also rarely get sick and when I do, I use the placebo effect to heal it. Most of the time it works, depending on how much I believe in my abilities. Oh, and very important. I can heal emotional stuff and conditioning from people too, I can be a good listener because I simply…understand, I am highly intuitive, and this takes us to the next “superpower”.
Very strong intuition. Often, I just feel exactly what’s the next step I need to take. I feel like something bigger than myself is guiding me. And that something is not separated from myself and it doesn’t control me either (like a biblical God does). It is simply me, my higher self. We are multidimensional, we live simultaneously in more dimensions and parallel timelines, therefore, it makes sense that when we learn to listen, we just know! I have moments when I trust it blindly, taking steps in my life based on synchronicity and not by planning. It gives me a whole different meaning of what life is, being more connected to the present moment and with the flow of BEingness. I also anticipate how a specific event would be, therefore I decide if I would attend or not. It is usually very accurate, the only thing that stops it is thoughts based in fear. It is normal after all, we are so used to live in this linear illusion where everything must be planned and explained, or else we are lost (or we think we are).
Telepathy. I communicated telepathically a few times with my ex-girlfriend. On some occasions, she really freaked me out, as she described perfectly an exact situation that was on my mind, without possibly knowing that I was thinking/feeling that. Recently, even though we broke up a year ago, we communicated again telepathically, even though we are not in contact anymore. We were both very surprised about this.
Out of body experience or astral projection. There are two times when I tried magic mushrooms in my life. The first time I had an out of body experience. I was literally looking at myself standing on the couch from 2 meters above. I was able to see into all my programming and ego aspects that were rooted in my consciousness. I saw every identification I was wearing into the world, being able to recognize again that I was pure consciousness in essence, without the body, without the mind, connected to the collective consciousness and all that is. I was walking in my apartment as my body was lying on the couch. This experience had a very big impact on my life. The second time I took mushrooms, I wasn’t able to experience anything anymore, it was a very frustrating experience. All other experiences were done and felt without any influence of any drug or plant.
So there you go, these are my “superpowers”, along with other interesting experiences of synchronicity, “right on time” manifestations and so on. I put “superpowers” in quotes because I consider them normal human abilities that we forgot about because we are constantly in a rat race, living our daily illusions, maintaining an image of ourselves and what we think we are supposed to be. If we believe in miracles they will happen. I wanted to say that love is the greatest miracle, but in fact, love is the way to be and not a miracle. We perceive it this way because we are alienated from it.
I also had a period of time when I doubted all these, I thought I was crazy. I feared myself and everything. It was depressing and not easy at all. That was the time called “The dark night of the soul” when supposedly one meets his shadow side, the deep layers of the ego. Now, after going through my own sh*t and talking to more people and researching more about what being human actually means, the doubt is gone and I embrace love with open arms again, accepting the challenges of life and seeking to better understand what it means to be human.
We consider ourselves crazy when we undergo something unexplainable. Because we have a limited view of the world. I believe that craziness is when we are limiting ourselves to just our physical bodies when we know for sure that there is more. The fact that our routers, radios, and telephones work with invisible energy, is a simple and logical proof that there’s an invisible world out there we know so little about. 🙂
As Eckhart Tolle wrote in his book “The Power of Now” if I remember correctly: “So many of us, if not all, are suffering from mental illness”. This is true more or less because we all live in our minds, and most of our lives are based on illusions of man-made thought. I want to add the following: “We are also emotionally ill”, we forgot to feel, because of our highly active minds. But we can heal and bring that into balance, no doubt! There’s no greater purpose right now on the planet than healing the collective consciousness of humanity. I mean, look at our world, what we’ve done with it. There are of course wonderful things too. Being able to love is one of them. It is also our greatest lesson and responsibility. Only then we can live to our full potential, whatever we believe that is!
I am interested in hearing more interesting stories. If you also have stories to tell, please do it in the comments below. Much love! 💚